After the wedding, for Tristan and I, the next most exciting journey of our lives is starting our family. An infertility journey is not the journey we hoped for but it also didn’t come as a total surprise. We were married a little later in life. When we were married last April, I was 40 and a few months ago, I turned 41. The question was always in the back of my mind – Am I too old to have children? Today more and more women are trying to conceive (TTC) and having children in their 40’s. Now that I was one of those women, I felt my age could be or was a problem.
After The Wedding – TTC Naturally
It’s go time! Tristan and I were dating for 3 years when we got married. We were certain of 2 things. First, we both knew we want to start a family and secondly, we also both knew time is not totally on our side. We both felt ready and that it was the right time to start our family. I’m a planner. So naturally, I made a game plan. We try for 6 months, naturally, and if no dice then let’s look into some fertility testing to see if there are any medical hinderances.
Back before the wedding, I had spoke with my OBGYN on our plans. She had made the suggestion that 3 months before we were going to start trying I should stop birth control, start prenatal vitamins and folic acid, and be very careful not to get pregnant in that 3 month window. Since we knew we wanted to starting trying right away after the wedding, in December 2020 I followed her suggestion. I had heard great things about Ritual prenatal’s and they also have the folic acid I needed. I’ve been taking them for a year now and I’ve never had a problem. They taste citrusy and are slow release so they are more gentle on your stomach. I highly recommend!
I had followed the OBGYN’s suggestion, the wedding was over, and we were ready to rock!
What’s Happening?
I was ready. I had the Flo app downloaded on my phone so I would know my projected ovulation time and I had also purchased the ClearBlue Ovulation strips from Amazon since I felt those would be a little more accurate. One thing I do want to make note of is that my peak ovulation time was close to the Flo app but it was always a few days after the app said.
We were coming up on our 6 month mark of TTC and no dice so far. It was a little disheartening but when you really think about it, 6 months is not that long. I think the statistic is that only 20% of couples conceive within the first 6 months! Since time is not completely on our side, we thought it would be a good idea to find a local fertility clinic and set up an appointment for general testing. If there was a medical hinderance that we needed to address, we wanted to know sooner rather than later. Little did we know we were embarking on our infertility journey.
We are so fortunate in that we could find a top rated fertility clinic right down the road! Reflecting back, I’d say that it is important that the clinic you choose is a reasonable distance. We made an appointment for general testing. I am not one for doctors or giving blood. Truth be told, I can’t remember the last time I’ve been to a general doctor! Needless to say, I had quite a bit of anxiety going into our initial appointment!
Infertility Testing and Initial Consultation
For someone like myself who is not fond of going to the doctor, I was in for a real treat. In all fairness, there is a lot of different things to test so prepare yourself to go several times. Overall, I believe it took about a month or so to complete all the testing. Each infertility clinic operates differently so what I am sharing is my experience and it may vary for you, again based on your clinic. For our clinic, Tristan also had some testing to complete, although minimal, your husband/partner does need to be aware this may be a request.
For our initial consultation, there was bloodwork and an ultrasound. They wanted to take 7-8 viles so I told them I wanted to split that up. They are testing for A LOT of different things so they need quite a bit. Don’t be afraid to ask what to expect and if you are not comfortable, split it up. For the ultrasound, he was checking for cysts, uterine lining thickness, and looking at my eggs, or chocolate chips as he calls them! For us, this all came back clear. First and foremost, I still had eggs! I didn’t have any cysts and my uterine lining was on the thinner side but wouldn’t cause infertility. All of the bloodwork came back clear as well.
At this point Tristan also had his part of the testing. He had some blood work and gave a sperm sample. He too came back all clear that there were no medical hinderances from his end of things.
So, what now?
Since all of our initial testing came back clear, the doc wanted to do a test called a Hysterosalpingogram or HSG. This is a test where they run a dye/contrast through your fallopian tubes to ensure the dye runs all the way through and that there is no blockage. They are also taking x-rays to look for polyps, fibroids, adhesions, or scar tissue within the uterus. We ran the test and my tubes were clear. This test was the first part in the process where the doc/nurse said you could have some discomfort. Uh-oh! This made me a little nervous.
Throughout our infertility journey I do want to be as transparent as I can. Not to scare or deter you but to educate for awareness. Also, a huge factor is that each person reacts differently to all aspects of IVF. Sharing our infertility journey in case you have the same experience this will hopefully allow you to have some comfort knowing what is happening is normal!
For this test, they use numbing cream so you do not feel the ultra small catheter that is inserted to run the dye. For me, when they started to run the dye, I started having moderate cramping. This continued until the dye ran though so maybe 2 minutes, tops.
After the test, you will most likely have a bit of a gush of fluid. It is mainly the dye BUT there is a bit of blood which makes it seem like it’s all blood. Rest assured that it is not. They provided a pad for me to wear afterwards. That afternoon a couple hours later, I had some mild to moderate cramping. It lasted a couple hours and then went away. The bleeding/dye release lasted about 24 hours but as the day went on was lighter and lighter. The next day I did have mild cramping on and off. I took some Tylenol and it kept it at bay.
Follow-up Consultation and Our Infertility Journey
The testing was complete and all clear…..so why aren’t we pregnant?! We received the news that about 20% of couples receive. You have unexplained infertility. We were blessed with the news that there wasn’t a medical hinderance that needed to be addressed but the news also was a little frustrating.
The doc said there is good news. You could keep trying naturally and you are also a good candidate for IVF. The thing with trying naturally with my age is that we would run the risk of my eggs minimizing and/or deteriorating. There would be a point where it was too late and I think we would always regret not trying everything we could. IVF is an invasive, involved, physically and emotionally taxing process and both parties have to be fully committed.
Tristan and I went home to take in all the information the doc shared and within an hour or so we had made our decision. We are going to start IVF! I have started my birth control pills and additional Vitamin D and we are getting ready for the February cycle where I will start the injection medications. It feels like the right choice for us and we are optimistic but a tiny bit guarded. There is a long road ahead with a lot of milestones to cross but we are excited and ready for our new journey! I will also create a new section on the blog for IVF journey. This is first and foremost, a petite fashion blog. I have found blog posts and YouTube videos that others have shared so helpful and encouraging. This felt like a way not only to document our infertility journey but to give back in hopes it can bring comfort or knowledge to someone else.
Till Next Time,
